Lost...

2 hari lepas,malam tu aku betul-betul mengantuk.Sumpah mata macam kena gam.Rupanya ada menda tak elok nak jadi:( Malam tu lah mama kawan baik masa diploma meninggal dunia.Malam yang sama tu juga Din Beramboi meninggal.

Malam tu pukul 12 aku dah tertidur..Sebab tidur awal punya pasal,pukul 6 pagi dah terbangun.Terus meraba check phone yang ada sawan kura-kura sikit,sebab kalau sms masuk tak ada bunyi ringtone.So saja je la nak check inbox.Sekali baca sms"farah..mama orang dah meninggal...kul 2 tadi.."Sms tu sampai pukul 3 pagi.

Memang speechless.

Arwah mama kawan aku tu memang sakit,sama macam arwah umi.Kanser.Tapi arwah mama kawan aku ni baru je sakit,tak silap bulan 12 hari tu.And she was at stage 2 je masa mula di-diagnosed.I didn't expect that she'll be gone this soon.But Allah loves her more than anyone here do..

And to tell the truth I was really taken aback.Hari tu, really reminds me of the day when umi died..The death,the funeral,the life after the death..I can't believe that my friend will be facing all of that too.Yeah I know,,sooner or later,semua orang pun akan menghadapi perkara yang sama,tapi I wasn't expecting anything like this would happened to my friend this soon.

Will she be ok?Laughed with stupid jokes that her friend made just to cheer her up but as soon as she went home she cried her heart out loud?Will she keep ignoring all phone calls and sms-es because she feel neglected and only her mum does understand that feeling.I had all this kind of questions in my head.

Because,all of the things I said above,are the things that I did.Which I'm still doing sometimes..(And they keep saying that I'm strong..)

I wasn't the same person anymore since the day umi was gone.Kematian boleh merubah segalanya tentang seseorang.Death changed my believe towards love,friendship,loneliness,ego,afraid of dark and a lot of things.

Anyway,sebab situasi kitaorang hampir sama, I felt so connected to her.Rasa macam nak tumbuh kepak dan pergi terbang jumpa kawan aku tu.Nak peluk dia bilang "I love u,'sokay to cry..mama awak selalu hidup..dalam hati awak."

The most sad part was when she asked me,"Farah macam mana tak nak bagi sedih sangat?I don't know what to do..I just felt so sad.."

Allah definitely loves them more than we do,thats why they're not here with us anymore dear.Dia mungkin sudah tak ada di sini,di sisi kita,tapi dia hidup,terus hidup dalam hati kita.

And I guess while we're still here,we just should learn to love and appreciate things and people like today is the last day we ever live,in case we'll never have a chance to say goodbye to each other..

Al-Fatihah untuk arwah mama kawan dan Din Beramboi.We will always love u,like we used to...Semoga roh arwah ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang dikasihi Allah.