Twwwweeeett!

I've been twitter-ing like the world will actually come to an end tomorrow!Haha=D

Semalam was like any other day of my life.Still doing the same routine.Nothing that I can really update here,really.Keadaan sekarang agak ok semuanya Alhamdullillah.I've fixed up few thing,err I mean few chaos that I created.There were days I didn't feel like picking up calls or replying sms-es.Okay,that was so selfish.But then again,masa tu I feel like I didn't have any interesting story or apa-apa je la I would like to share,at least for that period lah.

I would wait for few weeks(jahat nya!) then I would go meet the person.Tak payah pakai phone.Jumpa kasi hilang rindu terus.Ni biasanya happened between me and the aunts lah.Sometimes I feel like they wanna know every single thing about me just because umi wasn't here anymore.And that feeling definitely brought me to those "silent days".

Oh yeah,this june the cousin will get married.Dia sebaya aku.Luckily no one asked me (yet) pasal get married thingy ni.Sorry but now my focus is my family.Aku nak jaga abah dulu.I lost umi..AND I don't think I'm strong enough to lose abah too.

PSSSSSTTT,adalah satu tamparan besar untuk aku melihat orang yang been thru in the same situation like mine boleh je move on macam tu.I mean,they still went back study and the family have to survive on their own.Betul apa yang diaorang buat tu.Somehow,life memang kena move on.Someone in the family has died..so semua orang kena gather kekuatan then move on..But me?

Honestly there were many days I feel like gampangs and rasa time tu jugak nak blah dari rumah dan sambung belajar.Especially masa adik degil dan melawan cakap dan meruntun hati hibaku -,-Masa tu bertubi-tubi soalan popped up in my head and I feel like "Okay enough now its time for u to focus on diri you pulak".

I locked myself in my room and cried like budak-budak.And I keep thinking... why umi why...why u had to left us?Lepas dah cukup bengkak mata,baru tersedar I was overreacting.And then later,abah will actually come to my room(if the door unlocked lah)if locked,he will knocked and asked if I'm okay,OR if I had my dinner already.

Sumpah,hal macam ni or anything related to abah face's expression lead to perasaan terharu and also the feeling that I should take care of him.

So that's THAT.

Until my perception and mind change in future,that's it.I will definitely stay here.I mean I have all the pleasure.Internet all time,TV all the time,can go out all the time while at the same time taking care of the family.Sounds fun to me.Eventhough I don't have the daily talks about study,test,assigments,yada yada my life is not completely empty =D